5 days, waist-up only, ~30–35 minutes a session. Mon Pull A · Tue Push A · Wed Pull B · Thu Push B · Fri V-Day · Sat+Sun OFF. The leg day is gone and so is the 10k-step target — your new job walks, stands and bends all day, which covers both. That frees every gym minute for the only two muscles that actually make a V: lats (width) and side delts (the caps). They get hit 3–4× a week each; chest, arms and core get just enough to look finished. Every day is ordered by payoff, so the first three moves ARE the session — bail after three on a bad day and it still counts. Friday is 20 minutes of nothing but lats and side delts. Tuned to your gym: coarse-stack pulldown/row, 2.5 lb functional trainer, dumbbells, no bench.
| Lift | Start | GOAL → then hold | Why that ceiling |
|---|---|---|---|
| Lat pulldown | 90 lb | 145 lb × 8 | 0.77× your bodyweight — the load that means you can do pull-ups. The #1 V muscle. |
| Cable row | 90 lb | 145 lb × 10 | Matched to the pulldown so back width and thickness stay balanced. |
| Pull-up | negatives | 8 strict reps | Your side goal. Comes from the pulldown climbing + your weight dropping. |
| Straight-arm pulldown | 25 lb | 60 lb × 12 | Past this you start swinging and it stops being a lat exercise. |
| Cable lateral raise | 10 lb | 25 lb × 15 | Heavier turns it into an upright row — that trains traps, and traps make you look narrower. |
| DB lateral raise | 10 lb | 25 lb × 12 strict | Same reason. 25 lb with zero swing is a genuinely big side delt. |
| Standing DB press | 12 lb | 40 lb × 8 | A strong standing press at 189 lb, with no bench. Enough shoulder, not mass-chasing. |
| Cable chest press | 17.5 lb | 40 lb × 10 | Chest fills the shirt but doesn't make the V — no reason to chase past this. |
| Cable chest fly | 12.5 lb | 30 lb × 12 | It's a stretch-and-squeeze move; more load just wrecks the shoulder. |
| Face pull | 37.5 lb | 70 lb × 15 | Rear delts + posture. Standing tall is free shoulder width. |
| Rear-delt fly | 10 lb | 25 lb × 15 | Heavier and your traps take over the movement. |
| Triceps pushdown | 35 lb | 70 lb × 12 | Fills a sleeve. Beyond it your elbows complain and nothing looks different. |
| DB curl | 15 lb | 30 lb × 10 | 30 lb strict is a good arm on a 6'4" frame. Past that you're just swinging. |
| Pallof press | 17.5 lb | 35 lb — HARD STOP | The one ceiling you never break. Loading the waist thickens the waist and costs you the V. |
| Hanging knee raise | bodyweight | 15 straight-leg | Bodyweight only, forever — same waist rule. Doubles as pull-up grip work. |
Bodyweight matters too. Baseline 189 lb at 6'4" (down from 196). The V shows up around ~175 lb — and every pound off is also a free pull-up rep. Creatine: 5 g every day including rest days, any time of day, no loading phase needed. It will put +2–4 lb of water on the scale in the first week or two — that is not fat, do not react to it and do not stop.
These are days off, on purpose, and that's a change: you used to have none. The reason is that your movement moved. Your job now has you walking, standing and bending all day, five days a week — that is the NEAT the old 12k-step target was chasing, and it's the leg work the old leg days were doing, except you get paid for it. Stacking active-recovery days on top of a physical job plus five lifts is how you end up hurt or quitting. So: no step target, no mandatory walk. Pool and sun if you want them — for enjoyment, not as a workout. Two things still matter on a rest day: hit your 200g protein (muscle is built on rest days, not in the gym) and take your creatine.
You asked for the laziest route, and "5 days" sounds like the opposite — it isn't. Laziness that works is measured per session, not per week. Five 30-minute days means you never face a long workout, never need a big psych-up, and each session is short enough that going is easier than arguing with yourself. Three long days would be more total dread. It also happens to be optimal for what you want: at 5–6 days a week a push/pull split beats upper/lower (the reverse of why you were on upper/lower at 4 days), and side delts and lats — small, fast-recovering, and the entire V — grow best hit 3–4× a week instead of twice. The one honest caveat: zero lower-body training for months will slowly cost you leg strength, even though your job keeps the endurance. Your call, and it's a reasonable trade for a torso-only goal — if you ever want cheap insurance, two sets of leg extensions tacked onto V-Day is about 6 minutes and covers it.
Your weekday number went UP again, ~2,050 → ~2,300 — and this one is arithmetic, not generosity. Two things changed on 2026-09-01. (1) Your job burns calories now. The July number was measured on an office job: you ate 1,779 and lost 1.63 lb/wk, which put maintenance at ~2,550. You're 11 lb lighter (worth about −100), but walking, standing and bending all day instead of sitting is worth roughly +250–350, and the 5th lifting day another ~50. Estimated maintenance is now ~2,800. (2) You're ahead of schedule. The old plan had you hitting 183 lb at Halloween — you're at 189 on September 1. Getting to 183 by Halloween now needs only 0.70 lb/wk, and 172 by Jan 20 needs 0.96. So the target rate drops from 1.25 to ~1.0 lb/wk. Same deadlines, more food, and the extra food goes into the lats and delts that the V is actually made of — a slower cut is now strictly better, not a compromise. Eat the band: 2,200 to 2,500; the tracker still flags any day under 2,200, because under-eating remains your real failure mode (you undershot your July target by ~600/day). Saturday refeed goes to 2,800 — that is now roughly maintenance, i.e. an actual full day of eating rather than a smaller deficit. Protein stays 200g every single day, refeed included — never cut it. Fat keeps its 70g floor; the rest is carbs around training. Treat 2,300 as a starting estimate, not gospel — the maintenance figure is inferred, so let the weekly check-in below tune it off your real 7-day trend. That number is never wrong.
Same volume and creaminess, ~20g/day less fat than whole — freed up for cheese, oil, real burgers — while milk still does ~56g of your protein. Your daily anchor.
3L ≈ 2.5 of your 40oz bottles:
Kitchen closed ~7:45p → light first meal ~9:45a. Waiting to eat is what fixes the morning bloat — and it fits building strength first: less bloat, deeper sleep, lower cortisol, without touching your 200g protein or your gains. Not 16:8 (a harder cut tool we don't need yet); we hold the line at ~14h and you still train fed off lunch. Full why-this-not-that on your Today tab.
Your weekly menu is now yours to choose. Head to the 🍴 Meals tab, swipe Tinder-style through breakfast / lunch / dinner ideas (each with a full nutrition breakdown + a coach note), then pick the ones you'll cook this week. Your shopping list builds itself from those picks, and the meals you choose flow straight into your Today timeline.
Turn heads, lean business over casual, versatile + breathable. At 6'4" lean with dark hair / light eyes / tan, fit + a considered palette does the work — quiet confidence, not costume.
Thrift first — fit beats price tag on your frame.
Free, travel-ready Spanish for Mexico. ~65 min/day hidden in the dead time you already have. Everything you need is on this page — links, steps, the exact words to say. First time? Do the 15-min setup ↓ once, then just follow your Today timeline.
While you eat & get ready — hands-free, no extra time. Open Language Transfer ↗ → next lesson in order.
Coffee in hand, knock out your cards. Open your Quizlet set ↗ → Learn mode.
Sip your 5pm shake and watch one video at your level. Open Dreaming Spanish ↗ → Playlists → start at Superbeginner.
The one block that makes you able to SPEAK. Open ChatGPT ↗ (or Gemini ↗ if you’ve hit ChatGPT’s cap) → tap the voice icon → say/paste the prompt → talk for 20 min.
Drill one scenario a night (rotate): greetings & small talk · ordering at a restaurant · taking a taxi · asking directions · checking into a hotel · shopping & haggling · the pharmacy · numbers & paying. Just say: “Tonight, role-play that you’re a taxi driver in Mexico City.”
As you improve, tell it: “speak at natural Mexican pace,” “only correct me at the end,” “quiz me on ser vs. estar.” Sound dumb on purpose — that’s the point.
Real humans (from ~week 4): swap voice messages, then calls — HelloTalk ↗ / Tandem ↗. And you live in a free immersion lab — order/greet/ask in Spanish at Latino-owned spots around Four Corners.
Extra listening (commute, chores, pool): How to Spanish (Mexican) ↗ · Coffee Break Spanish ↗ · Español con Juan ↗. Want grammar spelled out? Free units at StudySpanish ↗.
ahorita = “right now”… loosely (could mean soon, or never) · ¿mande? = “sorry, what?” (softer than ¿qué?) · la cuenta = the bill · propina = tip (~10–15%) · ¿me regalas…? = soft “can I get…?” · provecho = “enjoy your meal” · lean on usted with strangers/elders. Drill these in your night chat: “use Mexican slang and politeness.”
On the trip: use it badly on purpose; one new Spanish interaction a day; each night tell ChatGPT what you couldn’t say — it fills the exact gaps. After: drop to ~20–30 min/day (input you enjoy + AI chat 2–3×/week) and it compounds toward real fluency over the year.
Functional, not fluent — and that’s the right goal. You’ll order, ask directions, handle taxis & money, and follow slow Spanish on familiar topics (solid A2). Fluency is the long game (~1–2 yrs). Consistency beats intensity; speak before you feel ready — you never will.